First Nog

In this election year, the nation takes sides. It seems we're always surprised when people disagree with what we thought was simple common sense. Little did I know, when I excitedly announced to my family that we'd bought our first half gallon of eggnog of the season, that not everyone shares our enthusiasm.

(ridiculous, overused television record scratch to indicate befuddlement)
WHAT?!?

Apparently, either you're Pro-Nog or Anti-Nog (though I think some in the latter camp might prefer to call themselves Pro-Healthy Weight Maintenance or Vegan or something more politically positive). Point is: there's little, if any, middle ground. It's what I call a Tori Amos Issue. Super divisive. Either you looooove Tori Amos, or you wish a storm of detuned pianos would rain down heavy upon her weird, breathy, creepy slinkiness. That's drastic. But show me a lukewarm Tori Amos fan and I will show you a deaf person with an affinity for psychotic redheads.

Well, we are not lukewarm.

We are decidedly Pro-Nog. While I maintain a staunch Anything-Christmas-Related-Before-Thanksgiving-Is-Wrong policy, eggnog gets an exemption. From the moment it first graces grocery store dairy sections to its last moment on the January shelves, we will have some in our fridge. Milk regularly goes bad before we drink the whole thing. But eggnog? Never.

Anyone who has ever invited us to a Christmas party knows that I'm always a little too anxious to volunteer my Aunt Laura's traditional concoction of nog, 7Up, and ice cream. Right, the recipe's not rocket science, but go ahead and try to tell me where that combination can possibly go wrong.

So you know where we stand. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

A few questions, though.

1. When we were in New York, because eggnog is more of an excuse to make alcoholic mixers (not quite the same as, say, nog and 7Up and ice cream), good plain eggnog was hard to find. Here's a picture of New York Magazine's recent taste test.



Note the SOUTHERN COMFORT BRAND EGGNOG. You could see how it might taste good with a little somethin' somethin'. But it was pretty lacking in our teetotalling household. Since landing back in Utah, we have yet to definitively say which nog is the best. So I ask: What's the best eggnog sold in Utah? Cream O' Weber? Meadow Gold? Other? Your answer is of the utmost importance.

2. Is it one word or two words? Eggnog? Egg nog?

3. While we're discussing language, what is a nog anyway? Are there other kinds of nogs? Are they good? If so, where are they hiding? Or is eggnog the black sheep of the nog family?

4. Is it ok to just call it "nog"? I say no. But I'll listen to a good argument.

Your answers are appreciated. Results will be published.





Post script story:
Right after my mission, I came home and, after a 2-year nog fast, was understandably ready for some eggnog. Maybe a little too ready. At the time, I was writing a paper for a final and decided that, as a reward, I would take a big swig every two pages. The paper was around 25 pages long. Soon enough, I was introduced to the cold comforts of lactose intolerance. Good times. It's the only time eggnog has ever hung me out to dry. Too much information? Hey, no one's making you read the tiny type.